Dr. Nick and the Army of the Five Monkeys

Say Goodnight Baby Boomers

2008-11-17T19:09:00.001-08:00

An open letter to the Baby Boomers:
Barack Obama is the first president from Generation X. In 1990 Time Magazine profiled GenX:

"They possess only a hazy sense of their own identity but a monumental preoccupation with all the problems the preceding generation will leave for them to fix . . .This is the twenty-something generation, those 48 million young Americans ages 18 through 29 who fall between the famous baby boomers and the boomlet of children the baby boomers are producing. Since today's young adults were born during a period when the U.S. birthrate decreased to half the level of its postwar peak, in the wake of the great baby boom, they are sometimes called the baby busters. By whatever name, so far they are an unsung generation, hardly recognized as a social force or even noticed much at all...By and large, the 18-to-29 group scornfully rejects the habits and values of the baby boomers, viewing that group as self-centered, fickle and impractical. While the baby boomers had a placid childhood in the 1950s, which helped inspire them to start their revolution, today's twenty-something generation grew up in a time of drugs, divorce and economic strain. . .They feel influenced and changed by the social problems they see as their inheritance: racial strife, homelessness, AIDS, fractured families and federal deficits"

Born in 1961, Obama is on the fence as to which generation he belongs to, as far as historians are concerned, but I think that he is a far cry from the typical Baby Boomer. That is why I have said that he is the first GenX president. To the Baby Boomers, I say that the torch has officially passed. Your time is done; and your sunset is closer than your dawn. Collectively, I belive that we are not sad to see you fade. What we have voted for this past November is a referndum on what you have left us. You made us. Please do not cry when you have to reap what you have sown. The media have portrayed this election as a battle of red versus blue/conservative versus liberal/urban versus rural. I do not think that this is true.

Each generation writes their own definitions of conservatism and liberalism. How many times have our political parties changed polarities in their respective histories? Too many to claim any kind of consistency of policy or doctrine. This election was an overthrow of government by the next generation. We are the "Home Depot" generation. The "fix-it" generation. The "Do-it-yourself" generation. I think that it is not a coincidence that the do-it-yourself type shows that are so popular. We are a generation that loves to fix things. I think that we have rediscovered a respect for the spirit of work that was lost. Over the past few decades we have been internally and externally destroyed. In the coming years we will need to rebuild, like the Greatest Generation did following their war. While their war was disimilar to ours, and though we will never fully resurrect that sense of their spirit, it holds a place in hearts as the antithesis of what we fight against. The most incredible thing that the Greatest Generaration has done is to leave for us something to strive for.

Our futures will be written not by us, but by our children. Let us raise our children to be the kind of people that we want taking care of us when we pass the torch.

A Note on the Concession Speech of John McCain

2008-11-04T20:29:00.001-08:00

It is a shame that John McCain's concession speech was the best speech that I heard him make throughout his entire campaign. It had the control and command; the precision and poise that I had expected, but never saw, from John McCain. It embodied everything that John McCain should have been about from the beginning.

Scapegoat in Chief

2008-09-26T18:39:00.000-07:00

ahhhh debates. There is nothing like a great debate. Cook a little dinner, go for a walk on a lovely evening, get to feeling a little warm and fuzzy and then come home to catch one of the most useless spectacles in television. Every four years two very decent and probably well meaning people are chosen by the citizens of the united states to fight each other in the public arena. The whole system is designed to promote a civilized version of a prize fight. A fight where the american public is the trainer, promoter and judge. Every November we watch the final stages of a fight where two men who have absolutely no ill will towards each other have discovered that they have to tear each down in shameless ways in order to win. Two men forced to become enemies. But it is a fight where the fighter isnt even the winner, he gains very little. The people who chose/trained and promoted the candidate gain the most in the end. They gain the influence change the direction of country. No wonder we are bipartisan country. We manufacture our hatred for ourselves. Its a funny kind of psychology that we have developed in America. Even our elections have become an expression of our desire to compete, dominate and live and let die.

Have You Ever....

2008-07-11T22:07:00.000-07:00

....shoved a hot poker in your eye? I didn't think so. But the truth is that we do voluntarily inflict pain on ourselves, in some form or another, on a nearly daily basis. The bonus truth is that we do it because we get some satisfaction from it. Most of us aren't crazy enough to actually shove a hot poker in our eyes but we will find some small way to stimulate those pain receptors without destroying one of our 5 senses. Pain is part of the learning process. You probably had to learn the hard way which things were hot and which were not. Even Snoop Dog knows to "Drop it like it's hot." I have a theory, and it is that pain is so deeply embedded in our primitive psyche that it is the primary way that we prove our existence to ourselves. Thus we prick ourselves repeatedly releasing adrenaline and for a moment there is a rush. And over time we have developed a Stockholm Syndrome-esque relationship with the pain of our lives. Basically, i think that there is an emotional attachment to the suffering and all you have to do when we don't feel like you are in enough pain is get that 9volt battery and apply it directly to your tongue as a reminder.

I think that almost all people on some level are inherently masochistic and this just comes naturally. I don't want to limit this to physical pain either. We can hurt ourselves emotionally in equally small increments without destroying our emotional capacity. Why do i even bother to mention any of this? Because I just spent the last 10-15 minutes doing exactly what I have writing about (not the battery thing). I had to rationalize why in the world I would intentionally do something unpleasant to myself. I figured that the rationale for doing it would make a great intentionally vague blog.

Also keep in mind that I take alot of time between when I post something and when I begin writing something. There are usually weeks and months between the beginning and the end. So the odds are that this topic has no current bearing.

Quotes Regarding Pain

"He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God"-Aeschylus

"I think about the meaning of pain. Pain is personal. It really belongs to the one feeling it. Probably the only thing that is your own. I like mine." Henry Rollins

Like Father, Like Son and Unlike Son

2008-05-19T19:11:00.000-07:00

I am the Unlike Son

I had an engaging political debate with my father and brother recently. It occurred on mother's day after dinner. My mom, my brother's wife and my girlfriend Jenny were all present for this landmark moment in family history as well. Somehow the men-folk ended up in the kitchen in deep discussion and the women-folk ended up in the living also in deep discussion; just alot more polite. The way the males in my family communicate are with loud voices and hand gestures. I suppose it was enough to drive the women-folk into the living room. I don't think that there has been a political discussion in my family ever. I never knew what my Dad thought or my brother thought about anything political. I assumed they thought like me since we all lived together and grew up together. I am not sure how it started but conversation opened my eyes to what the rest of America must be struggling with. And I didn't like what they had to say.

How the West Will be Won

We started with immigration. It turns out that my Dad and brother are more into nationalism than I am. My dad asked me whether I thought it was a right or a privilege to be an American citizen. I actually told him that I didn't really care where I was as long as I was doing architecture and getting paid fairly for it. I didn't really understand the point of his question and I don't think that he understood my response. The point, to me, was that I just want work at doing something that I enjoy that is going to put food on the table. Which is what I think that most people want, including immigrants. And if we are dedicated to proposition that all men are created equal and that life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness is an inalienable right then we should find ways to help the people who are striving to claim the rights that we believe that they have.

Fear and Loathing

The conversation turned to oil. I knew that they were speaking from a position of ignorance and fear so I had to forgive them for what they said. I have read more on this and studied this more than both of them combined. They have both bought the idea that there is going to be some kind of near catastrophic economic crash caused by oil that will make the depression look tame, that the American living standards are going to fall to unprecedented levels. So I asked them to tell me about their standards of living. Several TV's each, lawns, 5 cars between them. They commute a combined 100+ miles each day each way. They said "Hey, we live in a suburban culture now. How do you expect us to change?" I swear that my brother stopped short of telling me that the sky was falling. I told them that they were not thinking things through very well. I told them that they had forgotten how the world used to work. How cities used to be dense and people lived on bus lines and train lines. People used to live close to where they worked.They weren't buying it. I still don't think it will come to the point where we have tenements and typhoid all over again. Before we quit our suburban culture we will find a way to make cheap fuel again. In my opinion business will continue more or less as usual.

More LOST

2008-02-28T17:09:00.000-08:00

There is another thing that I think is amazing about LOST. Despite the popularity of the show, LOST has not produced a pop culture cliche. Pop-culture has tendency to devour things that are rabidly popular and in doing so reduces that thing until all that is left is a small piece of the original that becomes a symbol of the thing. Pop culture ingests television readily and acts quickly to reduce it. There is almost always some signature phrase or icon that emerges once pop-culture has fully digested and reduced popular thing. Kit the Talking Car, from the TV show "Knight Rider" was before my time but I still know the reference when I see it. Kit is all I know of the show but I still recognize the symbol. (The usage of the symbol is another issue entirely) "Star Trek" is another example. Who doesn't know what it means to be "beamed up"? but how many people have seen a complete episode of the original "Star Trek". Up to this point LOST has resisted being reduced to anything less complex.

What happens to massively popular unsymbolized things when they are forgotten? I think that they become something akin to black holes in space. The only way that we know that they exist is because of the affect they have on things around it. If I could cite an example then it would shoot a hole in my theory. I guess the second option would be that, like electrons, they can be located only for a second before blinking off to somewhere unknown without any proof that they were there.

The conundrum for LOST is that the things that ultimately do not become symbolized are truly lost. Maybe it is only appropriate a that show about people stranded on a desert island that is disconnected from space and time is destined to be forgotten. The momentary nature of LOST, mirrored in the show and in reality, is another reason that I think LOST is amazing.

The TSA - Or Why I am Never Flying Again

2008-02-25T15:55:00.001-08:00

Holy %$#@! I am never flying again. My neighbor works for the Transportation Security Aministration aka the TSA. My neighbor that I loathe and despise for her domestic violence, whining cat and dirty indie kid parties that run till 3am works for f'ing TSA. HOLY F$&*ing S*&t! Seriously, only the government could create a bureaucratically bloated money pit of an agency that would hire this kind of person. Unbelievable. If you were a flying monkey HOLDING A NUCLEAR WEAPON I doubt that my neighbor would even blink an eye. Dammit.

Proponents of Climate Change = Nazis

2008-02-18T18:29:00.000-08:00

30 seconds ago I turned my TV off because I heard Glenn Beck equate proponents of climate change to Nazis. It was something about a car commercial that involved a child that was ashamed of being dropped off in front of school in a gas guzzling SUV. Beck's comment was that using children to get to their parents was just like what the Nazis did. (Apparently the Nazis used the children to tell them what anti-Nazi things their family was doing) I don't know, maybe its just me but I have trouble seeing the similarities.

The few people that I talk politics with have often wondered why I am skeptical of the "conservative" vein of thought. The reason is on television at 9pm on CNN.

I can honestly say that I am not 100% sold on the idea that we are massively irreversibly changing the environment. But I am 100% sure that carbon monoxide is bad for you. If you don't believe me then run your car in a closed garage and call me tomorrow and tell me how it went. I am also 100% sure that I hate paying $3 a gallon. If I drive an average of 12,000 miles a year at 20mpg then approximately 5% of my after tax salary goes to gasoline. I don't want to think that GM is withholding technology that would save gas mileage but if they were.....I would hate that too.

My official political stance so far is that I hate things that are bad for me and I hate expensive fuel and I hate the possibility that I am being hoodwinked by an entire industry. Ironically, my extended political stance includes a hatred for lawmakers attempting to legislate what is good/bad for me. It's kinda funny because I also hate unnecessary government enforced corporate regulation. Who knew that regulation ironically forces corporations to be more involved in government? I hate being ironically forced to do anything. This little known equation explains why we should want less government and corporate interaction: corporation + government = hoodwinking.

Cam-Pain 2008

2008-02-14T19:30:00.000-08:00

For the record I am wearing my replica 1940's military issue Russian infantry ushanka complete with hammer and sickle emblem. Which leads me to an item I saw in the news today. I saw that Republican candidate Mitt Romney had dropped out of the race for president and given his support to John McCain. I guess that leaves us with the lesser of 3 evils to choose from for the presidency of the United States: Hillary Clinton, Barak Obama and John McCain. I do truly believe that voting is more than a right; it is a duty, the one and only duty, that a citizen is called upon to serve. I have researched the visions and ideals of many politicians and I would only be doing what I believe is right for this country and casting my vote for....

Thomas Jefferson.

You might be asking yourself why I would consider voting voting for a 200 year old dead ex-president. I think that further examination of what we know about dead people will have you thinking in a different light about electing a corpse.

Things we know about dead people:

1. "Dead men tell no tales." - This can only mean that he wont play the political "game"; simply telling people what they want to hear just to get elected. An honest and straight forward politician.

2. "There are the quick and the dead." - Dead Thomas Jefferson is dead therefore not quick. His platform would be one of gradual change not drastic or revolutionary shifts in policy like his opponents in the Cam-pain 0f 2008.

3. "Sleep Like the Dead." - He will deadicate his every waking dead moment to serving the people because he will be so well rested.

4. "It is only the dead who have seen the end of war." a quote from Plato. Dead Thomas Jefferson can see an end to the war in Iraq and will bring our troops home!

5. "There are two perfectly good men; one dead and the other unborn" Ancient Chinese Proverb. The Chinese learned long ago the value of the dead. Many people may see Dead Thomas Jefferson's deadness as something that might handicap his electability, kinda like being a woman or a minority. Despite the fact that Dead Jefferson is part of the majority, (the dead out number the living by 1000 to 1 or something) he will fight for the rights of all citizens.

6. "Dead Silent" - Dead Jefferson's foreign policy. Dead Jefferson would continue to give the "silent" treatment to countries that we don't like, i.e. Cuba and Iran. I may disagree with his foreign policy but no candidate is perfect.

7. "The Grateful Dead" - Dead Jefferson does not carry grudges or hold a vendetta against people who did him or his father wrong. Dead Jefferson will pursue diplomatic solutions first and foremost before invading the Middle East.....with his army of the dead!

8. "A Dead Man's Chest" Dead Thomas Jefferson will not be a tax and spend president! He will keep the government's "chests" full of taxpayers booty and reduce the national defecit. It could also mean that Dead Jefferson supports physical fitness.

9. "Dead Nuts" Government Accountability at last! Dead Jefferson thinks that government spending needs to to be tightened up. Accurate accounting and accountability in government spending programs.

Not half bad for a dead guy.

Lost

2008-02-07T18:05:00.000-08:00

My absolute favorite thing about "LOST" is that there is no opening. Each episode simply begins where the other leaves off. There is no theme song or seizure inducing montage. At the first commercial break there is black screen with the words "LOST" in white text coming into focus and moving towards the viewer for a couple seconds and then straight to commercial. Simply Brilliant.

Weasel Words

2008-02-04T16:40:00.002-08:00

I was watching conservative tv host Lou Dobbs in an ugly debate/argument with Janet Muguira , an activist leader of a Hispanic civil rights organization. This was just about the nastiest extended exchange between two people I have seen on television. The debate was an outgrowth of the larger issue of how to handle illegal immigration. Particularly Muguira was objecting to the appearance of guests on Lou Dobbs' show that spoke strongly against illegal immigration and had ties to racist organizations. Further more, Muguira connected the repeated appearances of anti-immigrant speakers to a 23% increase in hate crimes against hispanics. Dobbs claimed absolution under freedom of speech and that he was little more than a facilitator for discussion. Maguira asserted that Dobbs needed to be responsible and stop having people who used 'hate-speech' on his show.

I saw where Dobbs was coming from in his defense and I can see why Maguira was on the offense. I have heard people using the kind of speech that Maguira objects to but I have trouble finding the adjectives to describe it. In architecture, similar words would be called 'weasel words'. They are words that architects use to cover their ass, or shift/ deflect direct responsibility away from themselves. "Verify in Field" for example. I think the situation is also somewhat similar to the scenario of the bartender and the drunk driver. If a man gets drunk, goes driving and kills someone, how responsible is the bartender who served the man his drinks? (In some states I think that the bartender is open to some responsibility) We have all heard "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." This is one of the slickest pieces of propaganda that has ever been created. It sells the idea that guns really aren't that bad. And people bought it. 2005 Gun stats: 477,040 victims of violent crimes stated that they faced an offender with a firearm. there were more than 16,500 murders in 2005 and 66% were done with a firearm (actually that's impressive. I would have bet it was much higher) If people didn't have guns would they still kill people? or atleast 66% less people? Just to be clear, my personal opinion is that people should have the right to bear arms as long as it is in a manner that is in accordance with the state and federal laws which i think are too lenient.

Is contributing to/building a negative 'stereotype' on national television 'hate-speech'? Or creating an atmosphere where it is 'okay' to degrade other people?

How responsible is Lou Dobbs if at all? Maybe it is a simple case of irresponsible reporting. You need a background check to get a gun but they will put almost anybody on national TV. Who really wants to do the homework or ask the 'hard' questions about a person's affiliations?

I ask plenty of questions but I don't really have any answers, just opinions. I apologize if anyone reading was expecting me answer any of the questions. Personally, I think that the general media and their puppets needs to be held accountable for what they say. Taking responsibility is one of the great weights of being an architect. It is a large part of what makes us professionals and one of the first things that an architect learns is that their decisions have profound effects on people. If a journalist wants to claim to be professional then I expect them to approach their 'profession' with that same degree of rigorous understanding of the responsibilities and consequences that my profession places on me.

Living Downtown

2008-01-20T20:47:00.000-08:00

I finally decided that my Christmas present to Jenny was going to be some paintings and a collage print and a dinner. When I set about acquiring the things that I needed I started going to places downtown. I got the collage printed at Kinko's on Fountain Square and then I got it matted at Princes. I also acquired all the painting supplies that I used from Prince's as well. The flowers that I got for the dinner also came from the florist on court street. (An incredible flower shop that has a very unassuming exterior) The only things that came from places that weren't downtown was the food for the dinner which came from the Kroger's in Hyde Park. (it was a 2lb of beef tenderloin browned then broiled to medium served with roast shallots in a shallot sauce) I was just amazed that I could actually accomplish so much downtown. It actually is possible to live downtown. Incidentally, I will be attending a stone carving class at the art academy one block from my house using tools purchased from Suder's art store on Vine St.

Apartment 53...or WWDIKD?

2007-12-17T20:13:00.000-08:00

Everyone has those neighbors that are obnoxious. Mine live in apartment 53 and I share a very thin wall with them. They are the dirty slacker indie kids so they have obnoxious parties all the time and play videogames really loud at 3 am. I am not going to lie to you. I am partially pissed because I am jealous. I want to go back to the days when i could play games till 3 am. But i wasn't a dirty slacker indie kid back then. If i was playing games at 3 am it was because i just got home 12+ hours in studio. And i didn't play it loud enough to wake up my roommates let alone a person in a different apartment.

So on Friday and Saturday this past weekend apartment 53 had parties both nights. Saturday's party ran late into the night...probably 3am or so. I was pissed. I called and left a message at the rental office in the middle of the night and everything. As satisfying as that was I was still pissed. Sunday, as I was headed out the door to see the musical "The Drowsy Chaperone" with Jenny I noticed the inside of the elevator door was covered with spit. And I thought "dammit!". Then i got to the lobby and it was destroyed. There was glass on the floor and the glass front door was cracked from top to bottom. "Dammit! again!" I thought. I dont live in animal house. Those days are behind me!!! curses!!!

The musical was great and it distracted me from the reality of the dirty indie kids next door. The musical was appropriate because it was in part about using musicals to escape from the harsher reality.

Monday, on her way to feed the meter for her car, Jenny ran into my landlord who was examining the lobby. She told the landlord about the weekends disturbance and my landlord gave Jenny her number to give to me. I called on my lunch hour and discovered on friday that apartment 53 had run afoul of my landlord. hmmmmm so i thought to myself ,you've just pissed off your landlord......What Would a Dirty Indie Kid Do? The only thing that dirty indie kids know how to do.......

..........make it big, make it red and set it on fire

Forms of Be

2007-12-13T19:40:00.000-08:00

I used to annoyed that facebook put the "is" in your status line for you. I really hated it at first. I just learned that "is" will no longer be implied in the status. I thought about it and I realized that I am really going to miss it. Sometimes I would be listening to a song and hear a line that I thought would go great after the word "is". Examples:

Nick is "throwing a party, but you're throwing knives"
or
Nick is "just a toy that is broken"

And as I walked around everyday I found myself thing in that weird third person format. "nick is tired of doing revit." etc. I thought it was really interesting that it had gotten into my brain to that degree. And now that I can write anything in there it just isn't as exciting. At least I haven't asked to define the word "is".

I have something better than a Dream...

2007-12-05T14:39:00.000-08:00

I have....a couch. How is a couch better than a dream? Because it is the couch that enables the sleep from which a Dream comes. Martin Luther King must not have a good couch because he only had "a dream". My hope for my couch is that it will allow me to expand my dreams so that I may have not a single dream but plurality of colorful and lively dreams.

The couch itself measure 89" in length, a mere 3" shy of the maximum height of the elevator. The fabric has just a bit of texture that makes it soft to the touch. It is the right mix of firmness and mushiness. The lines are simple and very clean. The color is a sage green. I like to call it "a little slice of sage green heaven"

Delicious

2007-12-01T08:12:00.000-08:00

Today for lunch Jenny and I made chicken breasts wrapped in bacon with some marinade. Well, to be honest, it smelled delicious. And it prompted me to make a decision. When I die, I should be cremated and wrapped entirely in bacon. At the cremation ceremony my surviving friends and family will treated to the savory smell of cooking bacon instead of charring brimstone.

Something Old, Something New

2007-11-27T18:01:00.000-08:00

Ideas grow and ideas evolve. And it is usually impossible to guess the shapes and forms that an idea will take during the process of its growth. It is like planting a seed that you have never seen before and not knowing what will grow from it. Countries begin as ideas. I think it would be interesting to study how the ideas that drive a country have manifested themselves. I am speaking in part about about America because i think that few countries have had its driving ideals expressed and translated so directly and so clearly at its outset. While I think that other countries would provide an equally interesting study, I happen to be in america so I am biased. How have the ideas that founded this country manifested themselves in our generation?

(disclaimer:Since I don't have the time to do vast amounts of research most of my information will be scrupulously gleaned from wikipedia)

The founding fathers were dedicated to the idea that America would be a republic. John Adams said it like this

"a government, in which all men, rich and poor, magistrates and subjects, officers and people, masters and servants, the first citizen and the last, are equally subject to the laws"

Similarly, Thomas Jefferson describe a republic in this manner:

"a government by its citizens in mass, acting directly and personally, according to rules established by the majority; and that every other government is more or less republican, in proportion as it has in its composition more or less of this ingredient of the direct action of the citizens."

...Fast Forward 2 Hours...

I started this note with the idea that America had morphed and deviated from its original principles a great deal. When I set out to look up what those founding ideals were I realized that the ideas haven't changed as greatly as I thought. The same debates still continue: The Jeffersonian private yeoman farmer tending his business versus Alexander Hamilton's vision of the industrialized commerce friendly nation. Our government is a government of balance. Our government is least effective when the balance is tipped in one direction or another. So we need both the industrialist and the farmer working and understanding each other for the system to work.

It isn't the elected officials that have lost sight of what america's ideological ancestory is made of; it is the people who have forgotten. Politicians pander and patronize us just to get elected. I don't blame the politicians, we made them that way through our own ignorance. We look at politicians as tools to carryout our own personal agendas. We see them as nothing more than vehicles for bringing our personal versions of what we think the world should be into existence. Too many people believe that they are better than the other people around them. These " better" people believe that due to their "betterness" they have the right to determine what is best for "lesser" "unenlightened" peoples. People who think that their way is the best, and only, way have forgotten what America is. America is not a "one-way" place, it is a "any which way you can" kind of place. There are many roads to life, liberty, and pursuing happiness. We need to keep as many open as possible.

First Post Since the Last Post

2007-11-20T18:59:00.000-08:00

I figured it was time to open a new blog. Its been over a year since the last post and I figured it is time to start fresh. If you would like to visit the original "Army of the Five Monkeys" blog and learn such useful information as the origin of the name or maybe something about me it is available in the list of links.

My last post was July of 2006 . A recap of the last 14 months would be seriosuly ridiculous. Part of me would find it funny to write it just so that I could picture someone reading it then realizing that it is several thousand words long and giving up after a couple paragraphs. But I won't do that.

Instead, I will use some quotes from famous people to describe July 2006 to July 2007:

"It was the best of times, It was the worst of times"

"Time cools, time clarifies; no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours." Mark Twain

"Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear." Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"The future, according to some scientists, will be exactly like the past, only far more expensive." John Sladek

"The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time" Friedrich Nietzsche